Struggling with relationships?
You’re definitely not alone.
Maybe you’ve thought:
- “Why can’t I get along with that person?”
- “Why do people misunderstand me?”
- “Why do my friends seem to drift away?”
Almost everyone experiences relationship failures at some point.
But what truly matters isn’t the failure itself — it’s what you learn from it.
There are clear patterns behind relationship struggles.
Once you understand those patterns and make small mindset shifts, your relationships can improve dramatically.
Here are five real-life examples of people who struggled with relationships, why those problems happened, and what they did to fix them.
You’ll probably find something that resonates with your own experience.
Let’s dive in.
Example 1: A — The Person Who Talks Too Much About Themselves
What Happened
A (28, office worker) believed he was the life of every work gathering.
But in reality, people felt exhausted after talking to him.
He constantly shared his own stories, interrupted others with “That reminds me of when I…,” and sent long messages about his own life.
He rarely asked about others.
Eventually, he noticed he wasn’t being invited anymore.
Why It Happened
A’s communication was one-way.
He believed “talking = communicating,” but real communication requires listening — often more than talking.
People who dominate conversations usually want:
- To be understood
- To be acknowledged
But when that desire becomes too strong, they stop seeing the other person’s feelings.
✔️ How to Fix It (3 Practical Steps)
1. Use the 20/80 Rule
- Talk 20%
- Listen 80%
- After speaking for 1–2 minutes, ask a question and let the other person lead
2. Prepare simple follow-up questions
- “What happened next?”
- “How did you feel?”
- “That’s interesting — tell me more.”
Questions show genuine interest.
3. Create a “Listening Day”
Choose one day a week to intentionally focus on listening rather than talking.
A’s Results
After practicing these habits, A became more curious about others.
Within three months, people started inviting him again — and even said, “Talking to you is fun now.”
Example 2: B — The People-Pleaser Who Loses Themselves
What Happened
B (25, administrative assistant) always said yes.
Even when she disliked a restaurant, she agreed.
When asked for her opinion, she said, “Anything is fine.”
One day, a close friend said:
“I honestly don’t know what you like. I can’t tell what you’re thinking.”
Their relationship slowly grew distant.
Why It Happened
B feared being disliked.
But relationships deepen through authenticity, not self-erasure.
When someone never shares their true thoughts, others feel unsure and uneasy.
✔️ How to Fix It (3 Practical Steps)
1. Start with small opinions
- “I’d prefer Japanese food today.”
- “I like this one better.”
People appreciate clarity more than you think.
2. Use the phrase:
“I think ___, but what do you think?”
This balances honesty with respect.
3. Make a “Likes & Dislikes List”
Write down what you truly enjoy.
Knowing yourself helps others know you too.
B’s Results
Her friends appreciated hearing her real opinions.
Within months, her relationships became deeper and more genuine.
Example 3: C — The Person Who Gets Emotional Too Quickly
What Happened
C (32, sales) was expressive — sometimes too expressive.
A small comment at work made him upset.
A casual remark from a friend made him withdraw or ignore messages.
People began to feel they had to “walk on eggshells” around him.
Why It Happened
C didn’t regulate his emotions before expressing them.
Emotions aren’t bad — but unfiltered emotions can feel like attacks to others.
✔️ How to Fix It (3 Practical Steps)
1. Practice the 6-Second Rule
Anger peaks for only six seconds.
Count slowly and breathe before reacting.
2. Narrate your emotions internally
- “I’m feeling irritated.”
- “I’m feeling hurt.”
This helps you observe emotions instead of being controlled by them.
3. Use “I-Messages”
Instead of:
❌ “Why would you say that!”
Try:
✔️ “When I hear that, I feel hurt.”
It reduces defensiveness and opens dialogue.
C’s Results
After months of practice, people said he was easier to talk to.
Conflicts decreased dramatically.
Example 4: D — The Person Who Can’t Keep Promises
What Happened
D (30, freelancer) was friendly and outgoing — but unreliable.
He often said, “Let’s grab dinner!” but never scheduled it.
He canceled last-minute, arrived late, or forgot entirely.
Friends eventually stopped inviting him.
Even clients stopped returning.
Why It Happened
D didn’t understand the weight of a promise.
Breaking a promise means breaking trust — and trust is the foundation of every relationship.
✔️ How to Fix It (3 Practical Steps)
1. Put every promise in your calendar immediately
Set reminders for:
- 3 days before
- 1 day before
- 3 hours before
2. Don’t make promises you can’t keep
Say:
“I’m not sure yet — let me check and get back to you.”
Honesty builds trust.
3. Aim to arrive 5 minutes early
If you’ll be late, notify the person before the meeting time.
D’s Results
After improving his scheduling habits, people began trusting him again.
His client retention also increased.
Example 5: E — The Person Who Is Always Negative
What Happened
E (27, retail worker) was cautious and realistic — but often negative.
Her go-to phrases were:
- “It won’t work.”
- “But…”
- “I doubt it.”
People felt drained after talking to her.
One day, a junior colleague said:
“Talking to you is exhausting.”
It was a wake-up call.
Why It Happened
Negative words drain emotional energy.
People naturally gravitate toward those who uplift them.
E believed she was being “realistic,” but she was unintentionally shutting down others’ ideas and motivation.
✔️ How to Fix It (3 Practical Steps)
1. Practice “Positive Rephrasing”
- “But…” → “I see your point. Another angle might be…”
- “It won’t work.” → “Maybe we can try this approach.”
2. Use the 3:1 Rule
For every negative comment, say three positive or encouraging ones.
3. Acknowledge before advising
Start with:
- “That sounds great!”
- “Interesting idea!”
Then add constructive thoughts.
E’s Results
After changing her language, people said she was more uplifting.
Her relationships improved significantly.
⭐️Final Thoughts: You Can Change Your Relationships
We covered five common patterns:
- Talking too much about yourself
- Losing yourself by over-accommodating
- Becoming emotional too quickly
- Breaking promises
- Being overly negative
If any of these sounded familiar, that’s a good sign — awareness is the first step toward change.
You don’t need to be perfect.
Just try one small action at a time.
Relationships improve through small, consistent shifts in behavior.
And you absolutely have the power to make those shifts.
Here’s to better connections — starting today.